As you can imagine, the story produced by that of an eager 8-year-old isn't entirely life-changing. My desire to tell an epic story was intensely ambitious, and my resulting story left me quite disappointed. I think I was a relatively mature child, with a mind beyond my earthly years. I think, at some level, I knew there was much more possible in an unlimited imagination that I couldn't seem to fathom or verbalize. I creatively set the bar high at a young age. I started a romance with poetry around the age of eleven. I reached a new level of stardom at age thirteen when I wrote a poem for my mom and my soon-to-be step dad that was read at their wedding. Obviously, this was a low level of influence, and my mom has always been uber supportive of my creative endeavors. Still, she helped fan the flame of my verbally expressive heart and mind.
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Clearly, a lot has changed since childhood and my early adolescence, but my creative literary love remained. I matriculated through high school taking standard English classes, until an honors class as a senior. Then in college, I took some required English courses. My vocabulary increased and I had the benefit of a dysfunctional first love relationship to take my poetry to a whole new level. There’s nothing that inspires a writer’s pen like heartache. While it was a painful experience, it elevated my emotional vocabulary and capacity to empathize. Check out that silver lining, baby.
Within the last week of beginning this blog post, I encountered a tragic yet inspirational blog by an author and songwriter in the Christian world by the name of Christa Black. Her baby came early during the pregnancy and only lived outside of the womb for 40 minutes. She had a rare disease that caused her death. Her parents held her closely, loving her tenderly and weeping for as long as they possibly could. It was tragic, and in the midst of such agony, there lived such hope. (See Christa’s blog at christablack.com). Reading Christa’s blog post and experiencing her grieving process through her Instagram account put me in my own thought process regarding influence, pain and evangelism.
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Many people flock to listen to Howard Stern's radio show because he tends to be honest and raw. While uncouth and controversial at times, Howard is faithful to voice an honest opinion, ask real questions, and appreciate an artist’s ingenuity. His influence extends to the many that either support and appreciate his views and radio show or those who critique or attack it.
Similarly, as it relates to writing, an author’s audience is directly related to his or her realm of influence, reputation, and integrity (or lack thereof). People don’t tend to read the material of someone who isn’t well-known, professionally recognized, or has had little contribution or impact to society. But it all begins somewhere, right? You work with what you've got, steward what you've been given, and watch your influence grow. If you treat people poorly or don’t take seriously the influence you do have, it can quickly dwindle down. There’s so much truth in these words from John C. Maxwell, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” Christa’s level of influence can be associated with her book God Loves Ugly, renowned success in songwriting, powerful public speaking, blog posts, and so much more. It can be said that she models good stewardship and relies heavily on her relationship with Jesus to care for people well.
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And reeling it in for the pain bit, I must make the point that while God doesn't send tragedy to teach us, it does teach us something while depositing empathy that we need to comfort others. Paul wrote about this directly in his letter to the church at Corinth – “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4). Many of the great Christian revivalists in history were marked by loss and tragedy that fueled them with compassion to affect countless people that were hurting, sick or dying. John G. Lake, a healing revivalist, lost many siblings and eventually his first wife to illness. He also saw countless touched by God, miraculously healed, and forever changed. Lake is one of many revivalists covered in Roberts Liardon’s book, God’s Generals.
I can speak personally, though my pain doesn’t include many deaths of loved ones (excluding grandparents), it does leak of heartache and betrayal. While God is a Restorer of all things, certain processes helped create in me a bent towards others who are hurting or who have been betrayed. Bill Johnson, apostle and pastor of Bethel Church in Redding, California, spoke on a Sunday in October 2013 in regards to mission work and had some great things to say about pain:
“All insanity at its root has efforts to avoid pain… You can’t live in a world insulated [from] or without pain and think you’re normal… Pain often moves you to action.”
I can’t imagine what Christa and her husband felt and are currently feeling as they grieve the loss of their baby girl. They’re comforted by loved ones who grieve with them, by an abundant God, Who is immensely loving, and by the knowledge that they’ll see her again in heaven.
This process that we all go through when we or those close to us experience pain is something God uses for good. He works all things together for our good according to Romans 8:28. He’s redeeming like that. Sometimes I ask for compassion in prayer. Other times it’s poured into me after heartache. Whatever the case, I am better equipped to love others well. This is the heart of evangelism.
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My obsession with a hope-filled future and a really good heavenly Father gives me a slightly biased opinion on evangelism. You can hear so many different ways, methods or traditions regarding this topic from various religions or Christian denominations. But my favorite is one that isn't confined to a formula. It’s simply to let God love me and then I do my best to love those around me. I don’t type this from a place of “arriving.” There’s always room to grow and everyone needs to be loved outrageously on a day-to-day basis. When my life has reached its end and I’m seeing Jesus face to face, I want to hear Him say, “Good job, Dear One. You loved well.”
Yeah, I do want to be a good writer with great influence. The path to that future began a long time ago, but it’s one that I must choose to walk daily. Greatness doesn't always involve overcoming tragedy, but it does entail overcoming obstacles and stewarding well what you’re given. Pain is something that we need (I need) to stop avoiding. It just leads to insanity. There is wisdom in being a good steward of your heart. But whenever you love people, you’re exposing yourself to potential pain. Take heart, pain is not your end. It is merely a means to a beginning of compassion to love even more people with a heart that’s been mended and constantly loved by Jesus.
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P.S. I’m praying for you, Christa Black. Thank you for being transparent and loving well.
