There’s been a lot of issues on my heart over the past few
weeks that I wanted to write about but honestly didn’t know how to effectively
offer a hopeful insight. I’ve always had
a knack for being self-aware to the point of recognizing dysfunction or weaknesses in myself,
but not always smart enough to ask for help or to look up. I am inclined to think that being able to
recognize an unhealthy environment, whether internal or external, is less and less a common sense thing as it
is a divine revelation.
My sister is a social worker and like her, other healthcare
professionals are trained to identify dysfunction and illness in others, for
the purposes of diagnosis and treatment.
But I’m under the impression that the Lord identifies those
areas He wants to deliver you from, and that freedom is a choice away. For some it's an immediate deliverance. For others, it's steps in a process. Either way, He desires your freedom and will guide you to it. He’s definitely not the One to show you your problem area,
point and laugh, then walk away. He’s
never done that to me, anyway.
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In Biblical times, before Jesus was born into the earth, the
people of Israel would often disregard God until they found themselves in heaps
of trouble. Then they would cry out for
help. People do this today, but I think
it’s because they don’t understand that God actually wants to have a
relationship with them and is less concerned about their sin then the church
has made them to believe. For example,
when Adam sinned and he and his wife at the forbidden fruit, God still came to
hang out with him. It was Adam that
hid. Did you get that? God didn’t thug walk into the garden and
describe Adam’s sin to a tee. He just
wanted Adam. Colossians 1 says sin
separated us, alienated us, IN OUR MINDS from God (verse 21 paraphrased).
He’s not here to condemn or point fingers. This may be contrary to what you’ve been
told. But it’s actually His goodness
towards us that makes us want to change or repent (Romans 2:4). If God is exceedingly kind to me when I’m a
jerk, there’s something in me that breaks because His love is true.
You know those fairy tales we all grew up on? Do you remember those magical stories where
Love’s Kiss could reverse a curse of death?
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Those stories weren’t totally fictional in the sense that Love is the most
powerful thing ever. It’s what we truly
desire. It moves people to action. Ever see a loving mother go to “war” for a
child who’s hurt, injured, or in jeopardy of great peril? There are documented
cases where a single woman has lifted a car to save her baby. What about a father willing to do anything to
save his son or daughter from harm?
There’s a fight that rises in us when what we love is compromised. There’s a fight and passion in God that rises
in Him too when He sees those He loves compromising themselves in a world
fallen from the original garden of fellowship.
Did I lose you with the topic? Yeah, me too...
What I have been seeing which has been extremely bothersome,
is people undervaluing themselves, to the point of allowing abuse in
relationships. It mostly involves
females being hurt, but there is a case of an older man being taken advantage
of as well. Aside from the one male
exception, all of these ladies have remained with men that treat them like
they’re accessories, not worthy of his commitment, money or attention. Throw sex into the pot, and you have women
who are essentially offering all of who they are to men who don’t value people
correctly because of their own personal issues that contribute to a heaping
mass of dysfunction. The women are left
feeling like there must be something wrong with them since the men don’t seem
to want them or their feelings aren’t reciprocated by their lovely male counterparts.
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As a whole, our society has lost value for women. Just take a look at the top box office
movies, and you’ll find that women are shown as sexual figures, atop a sports
car or merely a number in a ratio of 4 females to 1 male. Pornography also promotes the idea that women
are just objects of male pleasure. There
are so many horrific porn stats regarding number of views and websites that I
don’t want to even post them.
It all starts at home.
What we accept as normal eventually filters out into what society
accepts as normal (i.e. gay marriages).
I’m also not here to point out the sins of others, but to restore the
sense of value to people who are groping in the dark for something that needs
to be found in community as well as internally.
There isn’t a gender at fault.
Everyone has been damaged by something.
But the truth is that healing and restoration are available but
replacing the value we've always had.
No matter how bad things look, there’s always a better
perspective of lasting hope. Hope is the
expectation of seeing and experiencing God’s goodness. And remember?
It’s His goodness that leads us to change (or changing our minds).
If you’re one of those people who knows someone in an
ongoing emotionally abusive relationship, use caution. People will sometimes reject the truth if
their more comfortable with a lie.
Loving them well is one of the best things you can do. Then if you’re loving them well without
agenda, you can speak the truth in a way that builds them up, and doesn’t tear
them down. Now, if someone’s life is in danger, that’s a different story. Notify the proper authorities
immediately. This blog however, was not
necessarily addressing physical abuse.
Restoring value and confidence in people is a deep
work. It’s one God is amazingly effective
in performing. It’s not something you
can necessarily do on your own. For me,
it’s been a combination of God and the people that believed in me when I felt like nothing, that changed
me. Kris Vallotton from Bethel Church
has an awesome podcast called Living from the Secret Place that touches on this
well. He said it was the people that
believed in him, before he believed in Himself that invited him up into his
destiny. God has a way of orchestrating divine encounters to remind us over and over again who we are.
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The truth is that nothing is impossible with God. We just have to re-mind ourselves (as Kris V
says) of what God has done for us. If
you can’t remember what He’s done for you, steal someone else’s testimony. In Revelation, we’re told that the testimony
of Jesus is the spirit of prophecy. This
just means that what God does for one, He’ll do for another. It’s an invitation into a divine experience
with God.
My closing prayer:
Dear Lord, restore hope
in our hearts. ReMIND us that you are
the God of Hope and that nothing is too hard for You. Please show us individually the value you
have for us. Please show us the hope you
have for us. Fill us with your joy and
peace that we may be able to impart fresh perspectives to those who feel lost.
Please give us wisdom in our relationships and give us ears to hear truth and strength
to walk in it. Thank you for giving
women their place in society back and restoring value to women and the family
unit. Let Your pure love woo a nation
back to Your heart. Help us to love
well. Amen.
